Film director George Lucas made one of the greatest business deals of all time when he agreed to make the first Star Wars movie for a relatively paltry $150,000. Instead of getting paid a few hundred thousand more up front, Lucas negotiated a deal for merchandising and sequel rights. 20th Century Fox thought those rights were worthless, given everyone expected the 1977 movie to flop. It’s a decision that ultimately netted Lucas billions of dollars. The sequels have all been box office and DVD hits, but the merchandise … well, as many of you have undoubtedly noticed in the buildup to The Force Awakens, it seems there’s not a product in the universe that can’t be Star Wars-ed. Here are a few real products for the Star Wars fan on your gift list.
10. Darth Vader Toaster
When you sit down to breakfast, you need something special to eat with your blue milk. Why not a couple of slices of toast from Darth Vader’s helmet? Star Wars is emblazoned on one side of the toast. Theoretically, you could then turn the toast around and burn the words on the other side, but who wants burnt toast?
9. Tauntaun Sleeping Bag
As he’s cutting open a dead tauntaun in The Empire Strikes Back, Han Solo delivers one of the film’s funniest lines: “I thought they smelled bad … on the outside.” This sleeping bag actually started out as a prank a few years ago. ThinkGeek.com, which licenses many Star Wars products, ran a photo of a Tauntaun sleeping bag as an April Fool’s joke (no such bag existed … yet). But within a couple of day, the site had received so many requests to buy the bag, it licensed the product from Lucasfilm.
8. Star Wars Cookbook
This cookbook introduced such recipes as Yoda Soda, C-3PO Pancakes, Greedo’s Burritos, and most notably, Wookie Cookies. The Wookie Cookie had first been mentioned in 1978’s The Star Wars Holiday Special, which — until the prequels — was the single most embarrassing Star Wars-related production. But at least it gave us Wookie Cookies.
7. Star Wars Hot Beverages
Blue milk is undoubtedly nutritious but when you need a morning pick-me-up don’t underestimate the power of Vader’s Dark Side Roast Coffee. It is a “blend of three diverse coffees and two different roasts,” that the Emperor himself would declare to be “Goooood. Goooood.” Or if you prefer, Dagobah Green Tea is the perfect drink to enjoy as you curl up by the fire in your slimy mud hole — er, your home, that is. As for Hoth Chocolate, it really hits the spot after surviving hanging upside down in a Wampa cave.
6. R2-D2 Measuring Cups
This kitchen item “disassembles into 4 measuring cups plus 4 measuring spoons and reassembles in a snap.” This little droid not only has the ability to shut down all the garbage smashers on the Death Star detention level, he can help you bake those Wookie Cookies. If for some reason he shoots out a hologram of a tiny princess saying, “Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope,” it’s merely a malfunction, old data. Pay it no mind.
5. Han Solo Carbonite Fridge
You don’t need to be a space slug Mafioso to keep Han Solo in carbonite. You just need $149.99 for this mini-fridge that can hold up to 18 of those vintage Star Wars collectible Pepsi cans. It also comes with a handle on top and has both cold and warm settings.
4. CoverGirl’s ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens’ Collection
With six different looks (three from the Dark Side and three from the Light), this makeup collection from CoverGirl should put to rest any notion — if there still is any — that only men can be Star Wars geeks. Whether you prefer droids, Jedi, or the Sith, there’s a look for every woman who loves Star Wars here.
3. AT-AT Dog Costume
Your pup will be the envy of all the other neighborhood pooches in this AT-AT walker costume. It is at once cute and menacing. For your dog’s sake, though, let’s hope snowspeeders for cats don’t become a thing.
2. Wampa Skin Rug
Nothing says you have conquered the ice planet Hoth quite like throwing down your very own Wampa skin rug in the middle of your living room. The tale you’ll be able to tell of how you “rassled it to the ground and lightsabered it up good,” will captivate your grandkids someday.
1. X-Wing Pilot Adult Underoos
What better way to set yourself up to dream about blowing up the Death Star than by going to sleep in your X-Wing pilot underoos? In addition to this, Hot Topic offers Darth Vader, C-3PO, Boba Fett, and Princess Leia underoo sets for adults.
(Editor’s note: Bob Connally is not afraid to admit that in 1997, he entered Taco Bell’s “Feel the Force” contest in an attempt to win a life-sized Han Solo in carbonite. He did not win, but then again, Connally says his 14-year-old self had no idea where to put it in his house, anyway.)